Flemish for Poser

The guy I'm becoming

2012-01-28T06:23:00.008-05:00

Pittsburgh dad is a series of shorts running on youtube right now. I don't know if non-yinzers will think this is funny, but the guys at DVE have been bringing this guy on the morning show. His discourse with the lady with two vaginas this week was kinda funny.

Lots of good riding going on this weekend. There are a bunch of mofos looking to ride at Lykens on Sunday. If you want to go along, talk to the guy from Paraguay.

Talented?

2012-01-27T17:08:00.000-05:00

This:

or this?

As long as these vids are making the rounds...

2012-01-27T05:57:00.002-05:00

Nice...

Good luck NYPD

2012-01-26T23:18:00.002-05:00

A few years back I was pedaling toward the Harlem Criterium along with some resident teammates. We took central park west a good bit of the way to a traffic circle. We go around, over then up one of the main arteries in Harlem, it's called Malcom X Blvd. At this moment one of my NYC resident teammates says to me, "ahh yes. we're going into the war zone now." On cue we then saw this:

These guys block traffic with their motos and quads while their buddies ride up and down the main streets. I've never seen anything like it. Serious skills too.

fixed gears areOVER!

2012-01-26T21:42:00.002-05:00

funny shit from PORTLANDIA
SPIKE rules

old dude on bike.

2012-01-26T17:00:00.002-05:00

This old dude is a real life version of Harry Callahan and Paul Kersey.....for you dumbfucks who forgot or are too young to know, Harry and Paul are Clint Eastwood and Charles Bronson respectively...Clint and Bronson weren't shy on pulling the trigger.

Yeah...so the old dude in Reading is out on a nice spin, riding probably his rail trail comfort bike on a nice Wednesday morning....minding his own business...then all of a sudden, 3 16yr old punk asses pull him off his bike and start attacking him.....well...old silver fox pulls out his hand cannon and starts shooting...killing one..injuring another..(ie...busted a cap in their asses....yo....)

Bravo to the old man! Those kids should've had a boot in their asses long before they got to the point of attacking old dudes..

his talents know no boundaries...

2012-01-26T10:53:00.001-05:00

An Agreeable Sound: Steevo from Matt Dayak on Vimeo.

RAYS INDOOR MTB PARK

2012-01-25T13:18:00.002-05:00

didnt make the trip to RAYS this year but my man J.GUENTHER did.here's a quick edit from his helmetcam footage----

Rays 2-12 from Jason G on Vimeo.

If my kid turns out this stupid...

2012-01-24T19:36:00.001-05:00

just shoot me.

stolen from the internet

2012-01-24T17:15:00.000-05:00

Can we all agree Floyd has the most personality of any former Tour "Winner"...and Miguel Indurain...the least.

and this.....looks like she dyes her hair....now she is doing the bottom half....

best of Craigslist...

2012-01-24T10:53:00.000-05:00

This is a Batavus "PERSONAL" delivery bike. It's black, has one speed, a coaster brake, a kick stand, chain case, racks, and a dynamo lighting system. I discovered it in the basement of the Smith and Butler boutique in Carrol Gardens last October.

yeah....a whole new meaning for Clam Digging.....

Crash

2012-01-24T07:39:00.000-05:00

This is great. Some douchebag back in 19th place thinks he's Cavendick.

So this race probably paid 5 or 6 spots. It's a straight-ish mostly downhill finish, narrow, probably yellow line rule up to about 1 k to go....it's a 40mph-ish sprint finish...probably 53x12...11 gear. At best you might pass one dude in the last 200 meters... It probably wasn't a good decision on those guys in the back...

ROCK OUT WITH YOUR....

2012-01-23T22:52:00.001-05:00

Stan's...

2012-01-23T15:25:00.000-05:00

Anyone who has been on rides with me lately, know I've been getting so gnarly my tires come off the rim. Literally.
I have been able to reseat the tire trailside...but it's still a pain. Thanks to you guys who carry CO2 cartridges,. I owe you a few.
Anyway...new tire, hopefully it works better. Maxxis Ardent 2.25. It corners like it's on velcro and the side walls are bulletproof. They're heavy as shit so climbing might be more painful...but the downhill is the fun part anyway....and Stan's sealant is always in my tires.

Ok...what the fuck is wrong with people?....."Oh Baby....how about you pour a gallon of 2% on my naked booty??"

not cycling related

2012-01-22T20:10:00.002-05:00

but badass...Californians have all the fun:

Monday Morningz from Bobby Henderson on Vimeo.

The dude with the boom is dressed like he is skating on the boardwalk....

The Snake, Mulholland Highway, Malibu CA from Avi Cohen on Vimeo.

I'm convinced you don't need a crotch rocket to go fast in the turns...it just "looks" cooler. WIth that said, most of the crotch rockets you see out on PA roads never really see the cool twisty roads of PA...its usually just Pirates on Harleys(riding at 40 mph thru twisties)....

Anyway...I just put Mulholland Drive on my bucket list. I ain't dying until I can ride a motorcycle in the California Canyons...

Yeah, we all know these guys, and some of us are these guys

2012-01-22T17:39:00.001-05:00

1st snow of '12

2012-01-22T09:23:00.003-05:00

Of course it's technically not legal to ride on the rail bed. one time a Norfolk Southern worker in a truck told me that if a rail security guard ever spotted me he'd for sure come after me. Whatever, yesterday was all softsnow, animal tracks and some good tunes on the headphones. it took two hours to go 20 miles but damn it was pretty blissful.

somehow this video of the Turkey Day dirty doz slipped thru Hoovis greezy little fingers and never got posted here
http://vimeo.com/32720991. Those first couple dudes tear up that climb, pretty cool. the folks falling all over each other is kind of funny.

Bad Kat saysfuck-your-resolutions

I MISS TROEGS

2012-01-21T16:25:00.006-05:00

BREWERY CARCASS.......

unless you live and ride in harrisburg you don't know how good it was to have one of the best german -style brewpubs in the country on your ride route.trails ,commute or road rides could all end at troegs for a pint of the current SCRATCH beer and growler fill before heading home for dinner.we had it goooood.dont know what you got till it is gone i guess....

NEW MASSIVE FERMENTATION TANKS

BUCK & SHAWN W sample scratch beers post-ride

.....the new brewery in hershey is super sweet and features its own mini-scratch brewery and walk through self guided tour. too bad its eighteen miles away and not eighteen minutes.its hard to leave that place sober.

ninja vs. dirtbike

2012-01-21T08:33:00.002-05:00

next time you're in the woods, watch out for Ninjas:

session

2012-01-21T06:20:00.001-05:00

Despite the wheel size, this is pretty cool.

since there is snow

2012-01-21T06:10:00.000-05:00

Watch this.

Riding On The Edge - Watch More Funny Videos

fuckin' Hollenbach.....

2012-01-20T10:26:00.001-05:00

There are more Hippie Cliche's than you can shake a stick at.....

OK, it's Friday

2012-01-20T05:28:00.001-05:00

Only got to ride my bike on Wednesday this week...may get one in tonight.

But this weekend I'm riding, one way or another....

A shit ton.

2012-01-19T11:29:00.002-05:00

Let me just say...even though I sell these SUPER expensive bikes to support my lavish lifestyle of expensive women....high dollar boozes...pimped out rides...and European vacations....etc..etc..etc..
The price of bikes is getting stupid. This one below is at least $10grand.

Despite everyone thinking bike industry bros are making so much bank we are smoking Andrew Jacksons while on the toilet. We are unfortunately not. The industry avg 35% percent profit margin barely keeps the lights on. And regarding the bike below...if you try to make a healthy margin...the douchebag that pulls up in his 2012 Mercedes-Benz gets sticker shock.

It's eventually killing the industry.

(P.S...I still sell a shit of ton of $2500 lugged steel complete bikes...they're still being made and we're still able to sell them at a decent price)

SIGN OF THE TIMES

2012-01-19T10:31:00.003-05:00

the HBG is really sliding into the shitter these days.now the police are leaving puppies in cardboard boxes in city parks in 20 degree temps because the mayor didn't renew the city's contract with the HUMANE SOCIETY.this sign along the GREENBELT showcases the widespread disapproval with our "mayor".what a joke

Chat with Andy

2012-01-18T03:25:00.001-05:00

Competitor Radio just posted an interview with Andy Hampsten. Haven't had a chance to listen to it yet, but it's going on the MP3 player for the ride tonight.

Chewman

2012-01-17T14:49:00.000-05:00

You can't call yourself a cyclist until you have "experienced" Danny Chew...

More Love from Gnar Lube....

2012-01-17T12:39:00.000-05:00

I just received more love from the dudes at Gnar lube. 1 bottle of wet lube and 1 bottle of dry lube and a t-shirt. The stuff smells very good....can't wait to try this on my bikes...

yeah...Gnar lube is based in La Jolla, Ca....
It was about 6 winters ago Blacky and I spent 11 days riding our road bikes around SoCal, mostly riding up and down the 101 thru La Jolla....My most memorable observation was...mutherfuckers out there own Ferrari's like people own Fords out here. It was crazy money and totally NORMAL...
we rode up Mt. Palomar a few times too. Once from downtown San Diego and a few days later from Escondido. Jesus I'm getting old...

are you "A CYCLIST????"

2012-01-16T12:25:00.002-05:00

......or PETER PAN???

Saturday

2012-01-15T20:47:00.003-05:00

Yesterday, that old dinosaur Shogren battled to a 3rd place finish at "Worlds" CX Championship. Tilford won, Kevin Hines 2nd.
And at the about the same time yesterday, after a fun cold ride at Camp Mack.. Me, Buck, SomeDude and Gunnar's Old Pal Whithers sat on the tailgate of my car drinking some fine microbrews .... You tell me who had the more successful day.

Gunnar looks kind of "uncomfortable" in the photos below.....when I'm 50, I plan to look "uncomfortable" drinking beer on the tailgate of my car.......

dakar...

Whatever happened, I was riding today...

2012-01-15T16:59:00.003-05:00

I was up in Lancaster this weekend with the family. As usual, I made plans to hookup with Hollenbukkake for a ride. Since we both had family shit to do, we agreed that we'd just meet at 7:45, do the Sunday ride route, then get on with our day. The problem came this morning at about 5:45 am when I tried to get my bike off of the roof of my car and realized that I had left the key at home.

Oh Snap!

Being the resourceful Croatian that I am, I figured my best chance was to steal one of Hollenbukake's extra bikes. So at 6:15 am I sneaked into his garage, pilfered his Cross Check, threw my pedals on it, and drove away with it on my car. When I rolled up to meet him an hour and a half later, it was on his bike.

OK, I thought that story was going to be interesting and it just ended up being dumb. Goddamn, I'm such a boring old fuck...

"Worlds" Cross Championship.

2012-01-13T15:34:00.000-05:00

Congrats to our friend Steevo for placing 5th at "Worlds" Cross Championship....

Dirt Rag Dirt Fest / Doucheblog dirtbags MTB weekend

2012-01-12T14:46:00.000-05:00

You guys who are showing up at the Cabin at Raystown...better load up on your Antibiotics, cause I'm bringing my Turkey Frier

SHIT YER CHAMOIS

2012-01-12T11:43:00.003-05:00

A few years ago i was on a trip to MOAB and FRUITA.my buddies JEF and TOMMY were stoked to ride trails with a lot of exposure.i was secretly soiling my diaper everytime we rode something where "riders had died earlier that year".this shit has been floatin around for a minute but i felt the need to post it here for anyone who hasnt seen it yet.not sure i'd even wanna walk this shit!

http://youtu.be/TaNBuqSuNqk

BOOZIN & CROOZIN on the F F R

2012-01-11T12:53:00.015-05:00

HBG-MTB / JAN 2012 / F F R
1 flask of bourbon, 2 twenty two ozers ,3 flats, 4 shots, 5 otb's,

6 miles of singletrack ,7 miles of greenbelt, 8 six packs,

9 riders, 36 hot wings and one ragin' bum fire=

january First Friday NiteRide

can u spot the real HUSKYMIDGET????

real BUMFIRE!

real MUSTACHE!

yeah-we spent 4 hrs riding 15 miles -

and yeah we spent another 3 hours drinking by a fire-

but who's counting?

at least nobody got hurt

unlike last month when MR HOOVIS was nearly braindamaged (the bad kind) by that menacing eyelet on the post!another helmet bites the dust

photos:SOMEDUDE,j.fitterer,mathbach

a must see..

2012-01-10T19:51:00.000-05:00

Shaun Palmer movie ...

Chainsaw Productions - Palmer "The Miserable Champion" from Chainsaw Productions on Vimeo.

bull riding...

Spiceland

2012-01-09T20:34:00.006-05:00

Found a cool video courtesy of Ridgeway - It shows a pretty sweet spot where Philippino kids can have fun on bikes (wait, you may want to turn down the volume before clicking on this link, the music drove me to repeatedly jab an exacto knife in my ears) - okay now check out, Spiceland bike park. I find it interesting that even on a rainy day helmets are totally optional. Kind of refreshing. Like yeah, it's gonna be a big bummer when somebody splits their head open, but then again maybe that's one less stupid individual that's gonna be adding to the population. I also wonder who gets all those bikes running the next day when all their bearings have completely seized up from submerging them in what is sure to be the local sewage run-off.

Now turn up the volume and check out Spice a couple years back in his gold boots - fucking rocked that shit like nobody's business. This is the music they should have used for the previous video...

not Spice's mom...

disclaimer, Spice isn't really Philippino or Indian, he's from Mexico.

Prayers....

2012-01-09T18:03:00.003-05:00

Ever since Whitaker got his E-motion rollers, the crazy bastard has been riding inside like a mutherfucker. Seriously...you would think outside for him is like 1986 Chernobyl all over again (where dudes were growing 6 testicles for just sniffing that "fresh" air....)

Yeah...dude rides inside alot...kills it too. Rumor has it Whitaker has been Tebowing it any chance he gets for somebody to promote a stage race inside..

His prayers have been answered......

2012-01-08T14:08:00.000-05:00

OMG I felt like shit on my bike today...

2012-01-07T18:31:00.001-05:00

...2 weeks of Christmas cookies and a little jogging here and there just don't cut it when you're on the wrong side of 40.

When I saw this, though, I started to feel better:

GNAR LUBE...

2012-01-06T15:40:00.000-05:00

Fuck yeah!...the dudes at Gnar Lube sent me some t-shirts.
His and hers. SWEET.

When I use up the lube I have....I am buying some Gnar Lube.
Don't let any of those right-wing bat shit crazy nut jobs fool you, SEX sells, ain't nothing wrong with it too.

Anyway...for those of you who have been asking "how do you carry your bike on your motorcycle?"....I finally got around to taking some photos of the rack.

the front wheel comes off, fork attaches to a fork truck bed fork mount I bolted to the BMW....the BB of the bike rests on the bar extending back....I secure it with a red bungee cord. The front wheel gets attached to the fork wheel mount.

One day I grabbed a 6 pack out of the fridge....yelled to the old lady not to bother me for a few minutes (cause she's always up in my grill)...then went into the garage...opened the first beer. With beer in had...I gathered up all the THULE rack parts I had kicking around. I chugged another beer....then grabbed a hack saw.....and BOOM! I had a rack. Then I proudly sat in a lawn chair drinking the last 4 beers admiring my creation.

The set up works...on the highway...on the backroads..on twisty mountain roads...and even some off-roading.
The fork attachment was a later addition I stole from Blacky's basement....oh yeah..that fucker claims he came up with the idea of a bike rack on a moto....apparently he calls a K75 a motorcycle and 35 bungee cords a " bike rack". fucking hill billy.

The Orange Bowl...

2012-01-05T11:33:00.000-05:00

The Mountaineers killed them last night...70-26....or some shit like that. I'm a fair weather fan, I only watch when they're winning. Too many heart breaking losses to THE U of Miami and Virginia Tech in the '90s for me to keep following.

Yo. Scotty I have a Couch to burn...

Big Boned...

2012-01-04T19:35:00.000-05:00

This one is for my two Big Boned aficionados....Lucky-Laudien and Carney...

VistaLite...

2012-01-04T11:00:00.000-05:00

If you were around the cycling scene in the early '90s...especially in Lancaster County, you used a VistaLite, (the original blinking light) and you heard of Robert Choi, the Lancaster Countian who designed it.
It seemed after Choi sold his company to Bell Sports both he and the popular blinking lights vanished.....

Just this spring during a ride at Michaux, Withers and I were wondering "What ever happened to Choi and those lights?" seems the dude has been "around" all this time....designing all kinds of shit for the bike industry. It's a good interview.
Anyway...the fucker is being sued by the 8-headed monster that is Specialized.

This can't be good...

2012-01-04T09:52:00.003-05:00

Spice, you should look into this technology for your road bike, just imagine being able to actually see what's going on right before the bunch sprint...
(jump to 40 sec)

Good Lord

2012-01-03T16:51:00.003-05:00

Best bike rentals in the globe. from Stason bros. on Vimeo.

Nice find Eddy...

seeking intel

2012-01-03T13:42:00.001-05:00

What do you guys know about the new trail system down in the New River Gorge?

The trip down thru Virginia and West Virginia on a motorcycle would be fucking awesome.

life

2012-01-02T12:28:00.002-05:00

yeah, life put the riding I had planned for the holiday week in the shitter....that's how it goes sometimes.

Saturday morning, after getting shit done that needed to be done, I did get out for a nice 3 hour road ride...on my own. It was a dam good time...I suffered when I wanted...nobody to half wheel me...nobody to yell "get the fuck over...there's a car behind us" at......I didn't have to worry about going a certain route because so and so had to be home ...I didn't have to hear about watts....races....teams...promoters....and the other typical cycling shit that is often the topic of conversation on rides. Sometimes. I just want to ride my road bike...does it still count if you go out on your own on a nice sunny morning?....

Mountainbiking is a little different. I like riding in groups. It's fun. It's a different vibe. You get just as good of a workout plus you keep your motor skills sharp...
Anyway...here's a video of Kevo from yesterday, demonstrating how to descend steep technical trails. The video is in "slow motion" so you can capture and grasp all of his expert skills.

Saturday afternoon I had some extra time and my daughter needed a nap....so we drove up to Lykens to watch Blacky Fly...for those of you who ride Rattling Creek and have never seen anyone fly off the ridge. Here you go:

THis was just some dude...but Blacky was already up at cloud level when I got there. I think there were about a dozen dudes flying on Saturday.

Really Handy

2011-12-29T05:33:00.004-05:00

This picture is from a cool blog called Photoshop Disasters where a bunch of graphic-artist types make fun of bad picture edits that somehow make it to publication. This one was particularly good.

So this place has been pretty dead lately...that's the problem when the shit heads posting here all have kids and are running around all over the fucking place doing holiday shit. Today I might actually make it out for a honest-to-goodness bike ride. Wish me luck.

Anyway, I hope everyone's holiday was awesome...

lykens is off for tomorrow..

2011-12-27T20:23:00.002-05:00

The Lykens ride is cancelled tomorrow.....planning on doing it Saturday. Stay tuned...

My car dumped it's transmission on the way to the in-laws in bumfuck Western Maryland....on Christmas eve night....left me (and babies..wife...a car load of crap) stranded on the interstate 1.5 hours from my destination and 3 hours from home....fuck!

needless to say...I've been dealing with the logistics of it all and finding a replacement car ASAP...I have unpacked bags all over the house...shit everywhere...cars everywhere. babies crying..etc..etc. I don't even know where the fuck my mtb is...

no time to ride tomorrow. need a day to figure out which way is up.

There's always something keeping me from pedaling.

It's the season

2011-12-23T20:57:00.002-05:00

This should get you in the spirit....

Reason #989 why the UCI is fucking stupid...

2011-12-23T10:57:00.001-05:00

Really?
They're wasting time implementing rules on saddle tilt?

I guess the K.I.S.S principles apply....

Anyway....

2 rides you shouldn't miss in the Coming days:

1. Annual Festivus Ride...tomorrow@9..@ Camp Mac....meet at the Pumping station lot. Bring some whiskey.

2. Annual Lykens/Rattling Creek ride...on Wednesday after Christmas...@9...@Minnich Hit Picnic Area...3 hour ride...super technical....rocky....But it will be a good time....so far me, Kincaid, Manny...and some other dudes.

And if we don't get enough of Rattling creek...we might return there NYE....with Strauber and Vicki.

My life would be soo much better if it had cool theme music

2011-12-23T08:25:00.000-05:00

I could think of a couple of good scores for this, too...

It's winter

2011-12-22T16:20:00.000-05:00

the weather is wet....roads are dirty...if you're riding in this crap. You'll need to lube your chain. Here's how:

GNARLUBE How To Lube Your Chain from GNARLUBE™ on Vimeo.

kids these days

2011-12-21T16:05:00.000-05:00

are fucking insane.

afraid....

2011-12-21T07:14:00.001-05:00

Back in the early '90s, I was just a 16 yr old pack fill in the 1/2/3 races....and Stephen Pate (2:50 in the video) moonlighted on the local circuit...That fucker scared the shit of out of me....it was one of those "don't make eye contact" in the registration line....kind of deals.

check out the crash at the 1 minute mark.

thanks to Dewald for the video...

not surprising...Pate spent time in jail...

Junkyard Dogs

2011-12-20T23:07:00.008-05:00

Regretfully I'm filing this event under things I should've done in 2011 - my weakass excuse was that 4 hours in the car the weekend before xmas seemed excessive, but holyshit-jesus-in-the-manger does it look like it a good time. A bunch of friends from the dirty side of the river made the trip in honor of Yeager's birthday. This sexy beast Yeager. Not this sexy beast Yeager.

cool pix by Joe Mallis here

congrats to Bricker winning the B race (cough, cough, sandbagger)

Paul the Epistle sent me this link. It's actually pretty funny if you can manage to wait through the commercial.

MISHNAUXJOB

2011-12-19T21:33:00.005-05:00

tied up for winter solstice this week so we decided to take a little excursion through MICHAUX this past weekend.planned on taking advantage of the birch run A.T. shelter for some booze and snooze but turns out it was occupied by some hostile- straightedge- lesbians who were less than impressed by our intentions.left with no shelter or options we were forced to build a raging all-nite fire and sleep out in nothing but sleeping bags.yeah it was 22 degrees and yeah it snowed about an inch but we didnt give a shit.......and neither did KEEN

Annual Festivus Eve Ride...

2011-12-19T12:47:00.000-05:00

When: Saturday Morning @9am

Where: Camp Mack, meet at Pumping Station Rd and Rt322 parking lot.

What: 2-2:30 hour ride at the Camp Mack. Casual ride, regroup when necessary, nobody gets left behind (Its fucking Christmas)

You’ll need a permit to ride Camp Mack, which can be purchased at Green Mtn bike shop in Ephrata.

Tomac.

2011-12-18T20:08:00.000-05:00

Eli Tomac and Aaron Gwin (The fastest American Downhill MTB racer)...motocross laps. You can catch a glimpse of Johnny T in the video too.

Eli Tomac and Aaron Gwin lap at the ranch. Shot on the Go Pro HD Hero 2 cam. from Aaron Gwin on Vimeo.

Shaun Palmer was fast in his day on both types of bikes ...

and Lopes dabbles in moto too.

Awesome Weekend

2011-12-18T19:18:00.003-05:00

I could tell you all about the awesome riding I got to do with a bunch of cool MF'ers at Raystown and around Western Maryland. It's really stuff you've heard before though.

Instead, I'll just point you to the 11 best (worst?) vagina tattoos ever.

Seriously though...Willie Nelson takes the cake.

Christmas is coming...be good.

I got home too late to ride my bike tonight...

2011-12-13T21:02:00.003-05:00

...so instead I watched this:

Thanks to adam for that hook up...

The Ein Gang Genshammer

2011-12-12T15:46:00.005-05:00

"so all you whack derailleurs suck my ding dong"

^ thx for the link Barry R

PUMPIN' IN THE BACKYARD

2011-12-12T13:22:00.005-05:00

when the army in orange are out on patrol its nice to be able to ride in your buddys back yard without the possibility of catching some stray buckshot or riding through some freshly removed gizzards on the trail!

rode BO & GUENTHERS track on saturday.BO owns DOWNHILL FROM HERE bike shop in palmyra and rides more than you do.a good shop is hard to find these days ,especially one that is rider-owned so take a trip to palmyra before you place that order on-line next time and check out BO'S huge inventory.

pump track shmump track??pump track skills transfer to singletrack skills especially @places like ALEGRIPPIS which is basically a 30mile pumptrack.doesnt it get boring??not if its laid out & built by man J.GUENTHER--hairpin turns with vertical berms ,hips and doubles will keep you busy all day.interactive, rideable artwork is what it is!

go dig up your yard

update...

2011-12-12T10:43:00.001-05:00

It was a good thing I rode and raced a lot in the '90s... up to about '08. Cause I sure ain't riding now. A 1 hour ride is nice...a 1.5 hour is epic. that's the way it goes now. I'm like one of those grey haired dudes in his rocking chair on the porch....

You guys who are in your 20's complaining about whatever it is you can complain about in your 20s can blow me. I'm your future....shut the fuck up and enjoy it.

Anyway....it's that time of year again...NO I don't mean the Holidays...I mean the time when some jackass with a pipe dream issues a press release, "he's building a new velodrome"... it happens every year. It happens so much I don't even bother reading them anymore...

Ok...if you have more money then brains... AND you ride mtb in muddy conditions.....DI2 on a mtb would be pretty slick...cause you would never have to worry about dirty cables. Of course it's all slick until you rip that $400 derailleur off on a rock.

Porn for Haverstick

2011-12-10T06:23:00.004-05:00

As soon as the sun comes up, I'm headed up to the watershed to ride the single track for a few hours on a cold Saturday - I'm psyched.

When I showed Ms. Hoovis this post, her reply was "you know there's something wrong with you, right?" A sure sign of a winner...

The guys at WDVE in Pittsburgh are funny. Here's their tribute to Jaromir Jagr's return to the league.

No Charges Have Been Filed

2011-12-08T16:00:00.002-05:00

Only part of the story is here, but how does one guy kill another guy with his car and yet there are no charges filed...?

The sad truth is that the general attitude in the United States is that bicycle riders don't really belong on the road. The result is that cyclist/car collisions are viewed as just one more unfortunate thing, and drivers are never appropriately sanctioned with jail or loss of their license when they hit cyclists through their own inattention or poor driving.

"The dude was out on his bike, it's his own fault."

Don't get me wrong, I still think critical mass is gay, but they do have a point.

The Divide

2011-12-07T16:49:00.004-05:00

watched this last night (mostly I listened to it while working at 35% efficiency)

worth a viewing. Matthew Lee is straight up badass. Shit, anybody who serious contemplates signing up for that race is pretty badass.

Texts from Bennett, in case you've not come across it yet - it's worth a few laughs...

Bennett strikes me as a teenage Hoovis who huffed too much gasoline.

WARNING: Don't watch this is you have an issue with dudes kissing and/or fake blood

2011-12-07T13:59:00.000-05:00

yo...these hoes definitely have mad skills on wheels....but wtf? can't they wear some thing a little more sexier.

alright...

2011-12-07T12:11:00.000-05:00

I said in the past I was over it...but recent developments got my attention.

Is Vinokourov a fucking baller or what? Homeboy was doped to the gills during his T-mobile and Astana days..raced every race like it was his last attack....then he gets popped for doping, denies it. Comes back after 2 years....still denied and didn't show regret for doping..."wins" L-B-L.....allegedly buying the win and was mostly likely doped...

Dude is the honeybadger of dirty bike racers.

For some reason I kinda like him now.

HARRISBURG BIKE STREET ART

2011-12-06T11:14:00.004-05:00

SOME BIKE RELATED ARTWORK I'VE SEEN IN THE 'BURG-

Rattling creek....

2011-12-05T06:54:00.001-05:00

Yesterday Matt and I went up to Rattling Creek to lend a hand and our backs to the Bridge Retrival project...

25+ people moving 4 large beams about 100+ yards back to it's original location. The Bridges were the Keystone of one of the coolest trails in PA...Rattling Creek Trail....an IMBA Epic.

After the work was done, we kitted up and got schooled by Shawn Withers on proper rock riding...

3 cups of coffee this morning and still sore, I don't think it will get better as the day progresses.

(ed. note...If I feel this way...I'm sure If Hoovis had been there yesterday, he'd be in traction this morning)

2011-12-01T13:46:00.000-05:00

I get all kinds of email in my work account....this being one of them:

They're usually from Chinese or Taiwanese manufactures of cycling junk....the same shit that companies like Specialized or Trek..etc. put their name on and then sell the shit out of it for 500% profit.

It's funny the one above uses a half topless chic to sell an Iphone case for cycling.

Never to late to stay young.

2011-11-30T12:10:00.000-05:00

Ever since LuckyLaudien broke my 'Tater Canon, the fun factor during our (the douchebags) mtb weekends haven't been quite the same. It was no fault of Lucky's, my 'Tater canon was just getting old, it was going to break sooner or later.
Lucky for us though, I have a handy 10 year old nephew who made himself a 'Tater Canon....he made two actually. Uncle Spice is gonna be borrowing them soon.....

ProCycling....

2011-11-29T14:33:00.000-05:00

When I see shit about Contador....I get pissed, but I have no clue where to direct my anger...
Andreu helps a little....

But fuck it...it's all fucking gay.
I'm over it.
All of it.

From now on, I'm only riding so I can still fit into my 32" relaxed fit J.Crew jeans....if the jeans are feeling a little tight...I'll log in more saddle time...if they're loose...I'll just have a second helping of Chocolate cake.
Shove that powermeter up your ass.

OK, this is pretty effed up...

2011-11-28T19:58:00.003-05:00

An old lady crashes her car though the Rock N' Road bike shop in Mission Viejo....!

Shit, usually I'm only worried about them when I'm ON my bike.

Had to drop the XCal off at the shop to get the fork fixed

2011-11-28T19:32:00.003-05:00

For some reason, the rebound lock out keeps twisting in the upper tube, which won't allow me to operate the lock out...since I can't adjust it, the fork ends up staying partially "locked out" all the time.

If I had the time, I'd get out to the garage and fix the effer myself. But I'm old and lazy, and it's easier to just drop the shit off and pick it up later in the week.

There are advantages to being an old white guy with a job.

whatdyathink?

2011-11-28T12:37:00.002-05:00

Does Pauwels (2nd place) have a legitimate beef?
http://www.sporza.be/permalink/1.1163089

DD

2011-11-27T08:06:00.001-05:00

Yeah, I did the Dirty Dozen once. Back in 2000 or 2001. It's been awhile so I can't remember exactly...but I do remember, I decided to go at 10pm the night before...my riding back then consisted of doing downhill shuttle runs down Chestnut Hill outside of Morgantown...and epic days dirt jumping the local trails.

5 of us loaded up in two cars...Robbie A, Gergely, Spaulding, Me and some other dude who obviously wasn't important enough in my life for me to remember his name 10+ years later...15 miles outside of Morgantown, Robbie A's car starts spewing smoke and liquids out from the under hood....as the snow was starting to come down...I suggested we abandon the P.O.S and load up in Spaulding's car to make the start time (a '85 Nissan Maxima...which was also nearing it's death).....5 bikes...5 bags of gear...5 dudes...in a P.O.S Nissan Maxima.

LOng story short....It took me two tries to ride up the 34% grade Canton Street.....I think Robbie A and Gergely went 1st and 2nd in the overall that day. And My left arm grew about 5 inches from hanging onto cars up them hills. Yee Haw!!

(ed. Note...You don't want to live life like that dude I can't remember his name...)

Hunting Season

2011-11-26T21:25:00.002-05:00

I really want to get a night ride going...

2011-11-25T09:03:00.002-05:00

I definitely don't get out on the ol' mountain bike nearly enough, despite having some decent lights, and I really want to do something about it.

I think it would be effin' great to get a routine night ride organized on Fridays...make it a good way to kick off the weekend. I'm thinking about something near York PA that could attract guys from the York/Lancaster/Harrisburg and Northern Maryland area (or, if it catches on, even Baltimore or State College). The idea would be to start rolling out about 7ish for a ~2 hour ride...then maybe grab a post ride beer/sammich at a nearby watering hole.

I don't ride much in the York area, but it seems like there might be some places that would make good candidates. Prolly wouldn't want anything too techincal, but not boring either.

Any of you guys familiar with the area got any ideas? I'd love to hear 'em...

it's the season

2011-11-24T13:16:00.001-05:00

Cops kill man for falling from his bicycle

2011-11-24T10:08:00.002-05:00

Unbelievable.

When "less than lethal" technology like pepper spray and (later) stun guns came on the scene, the argument for giving them to law enforcement was that they'd be a tool that officers could rely on to avoid having to use deadly force. In many instances, what they've become is officers' tool of choice for their interactions with the public (stun first, ask questions later).

WalMart is selling a SWEET Fixie for under $100

2011-11-24T07:34:00.001-05:00

Ladies and gentlemen, meet the "Thruster"

I'm thankful for riding my bike...

2011-11-23T19:04:00.003-05:00

...and for pics of hot tattooed chicks on the intrawebs.

Dear Mountain Bike Action

2011-11-23T06:05:00.007-05:00

Dear Mountain Bike Action,

Although I'm old enough to be, I must admit that I haven't been a follower of yours from the beginning. When you first came out, I was a road racer who eschewed mountain biking as silly and a good way to get injured. I have since learned the error of my ways, and now embrace the activity fully. In doing so, I have become exposed to your publication, which has become a staple of my reading list.

Now to the criticism: The editorials in your magazine are a joke. I know you've heard this before, and I completely understand what a strong motivation you have not to piss off potential advertisers. That said, I cannot believe that your testers cannot find one bad thing to say about any of the products that they evaluate, month after month.

For example, this month you guys reviewed:

- A $7000 Niner Jet
- A $3100 Specialized status 2
- A $3675 Giant XTC composite 29er
- A $3600 Spot Rocker Belt Drive Singelspeed
- An $800 Airborn Wingman

Each of these reviews reads like it was written by a millionaire who is 2 minutes from dying of an overdose of antidepressants. Not a single negative comment to be found, each bike sounding like it's the singular best item of cycling engineering, design and construction since the invention of the velocipede. Seriously, if I was asked to do a risk analysis of your business model, I'd say you've got a good chance of having the CIA spirit away your product testers to some black location and force them to learn Arabic so they could write propaganda to carpet bomb unsuspecting Afghans, etc.

And I'm not asking for a NEGATIVE review, I'm just asking you guys to use some real world objectivity when evaluating shit. For example, how does a motherfucker ride a $3600 single speed steel belt drive bike around Tahoe all day and not at least acknowledge that an approximately similar experience can be had by simply spending a few bucks converting any old steel bike from your garage to a SS for about $150? I mean, seriously, are you guys trying to use some double reverse review psychology on us here? The dumber/worse the bike, the more the article reads like the author is a Pollyanna with rose colored retinal implants who just got a blow job from a supermodel?

I could go on, but this is now 5 paragraphs long, and I've got shit to do to get ready for work. All I'm asking is for you guys not to continue to let your magazine be a complete fluff rag just because you feel like you have to do product reviews for content.

Sincerely,
Burt Hoovis

it's a deadly combination

2011-11-21T06:44:00.003-05:00

Thanks Buck for the link.

MOre Awesomeness for a rainy MOnday.

I am an Iron Man

2011-11-21T05:16:00.003-05:00

What makes that so funny is that it's not an exaggeration....

On the path with the DB crew

2011-11-20T09:43:00.010-05:00

Yesterday, the Doucheblog faithful met in Hancock Maryland to take a little down-and-back trip on the Western Maryland Rail Trail and the C&O canal towpath. It was a good day to kill a some time hanging out and riding with buddies in crisp late-autumn.

In general, the C&O Canal towpath is an interesting place to ride with beautiful scenery. It can get a bit boring riding on a flat trail for mile after mile, but that's when the whiskey and ball-busting really comes in handy. If you've never seen the paw paw tunnel, getting to ride through a 3100 ft long canal tunnel in the middle of an Appalachian mountain alone makes the trip more than worth it. Check out the C&O Canal guide for the particulars.

UPDATE: Here's some video that h'bach took of the exit of the tunnel going NE to SW:

Do work...

2011-11-19T07:43:00.000-05:00

Who wouldn't want to do work in this garage?

We're riding Camp Mack today at 10, pumping station road. About 2 hour-ish.

In metric years, this doper is over a hundred...!

2011-11-18T17:39:00.003-05:00

I mean seriously, this is a friggin' joke, right...?

"I dug the quality of steel"

2011-11-17T08:49:00.006-05:00

I thought this was a pretty sweet build for a simple commuter / beat-around cross bike

70's Campy Nuovo Gran Sport rear derailleur, 70's/early 80's Campy front derailluer, newish Truativ crankset. One gear for road, one gear for non-road.

a friend of mine picked up the frame (Surly Cross Check) from Cycle Circle and had all the old stuff floating from bikes in his past.

Maurice from Dirt Rag photo bombing the swanky celeb cyclist photo op

I took a car
I drove it far
I dug the quality of steel
I crashed my nerve
I made it swerve
I made it back - was no big deal

Just in case you needed a reason to feel old

2011-11-16T18:23:00.008-05:00

Peal Jam's debut album "10" (albums...what the fuck is an album...?) turned 20 years old earlier this year. In a tribute that's part cool, part shitty marketing scheme, Dogfish Head brewery just came out with "faithful ale." Maybe I'll get to try some this weekend.

If you needed another reminder of how stupid it is to train with triathletes who insist on riding in their tri-bars, here it is:

Remember boys and girls, if you're going to do some panic breaking, make sure it's the rear.

Satan on the Penn State Scandal

2011-11-14T05:31:00.000-05:00

The requisite pic of Raystown Lake from the Allegrippis Trails

2011-11-13T17:08:00.006-05:00

Pretty awesome weekend. Friday night it was a last-minute road trip to the 'burg for free tickets to watch the Pitt Basketball opener against U Albany. Saturday, I got to sleep in, do a nice little ride, and finish the day off at a neighborhood card game. Sunday was a 4 hour ride at Raystown with a good bunch of guys, and I made it back in time to catch the end of the Steelers/Bengals game.

I guess I can't complain about much...life's all right.

OK, now here's the requisite pic of drunk, half nekkid New York party girls:

UPDATE: Seattle just beat the Baltimore...weekend just got a tiny bit better...!

Relationships

2011-11-12T17:52:00.002-05:00

I love the Daily Show

2011-11-12T14:00:00.003-05:00

The Daily Show
Get More: Daily Show Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,The Daily Show on Facebook

It's not like there's not a glut of information and opinions about the situation, but I thought the take of Ron Musselman, the Post Gazzette's Penn State Beat Writer, was interesting. I am one of the people who think that today's game and the remainder of the Penn State season should have been canceled. This appears to be a minority opinion.

There's a new mountain biker in town

2011-11-12T08:17:00.003-05:00

It'll be a bit before he's really shredding tuff. I'm sure getting him there will be a lot of fun.

Tell Mom nice work, Spice...

It's the weekend....

2011-11-11T16:46:00.000-05:00

On second thought, that case of PBR in CANS...does not taste so good. I'm sticking to bottles from now on, it has to be something with the aluminium.

Anyway, it's the weekend and the weather is looking pretty good, so go get some (except if your name is Joe Fucking Papp...because your ass is on house arrest)

sack up mutherfuckers!

Yessssss!

2011-11-10T17:59:00.002-05:00

Who did NOT see this coming? I'm anxious to see if the players take the field this weekend.